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Ts a lover who introduces her to a radical and unexpected pleasure to the holy act that she came to see as her awakeningThe Surrender is a witty intelligent and elouent exploration of one woman's obsession that will be sure to leave readers uestioning their own desires. Warning This book is not for prudes It's a naughtier version of Eat Pray Love Am torn between three and four stars so let's say it's a 35 Bentley is a solid writer but if you can't deal with graphic language well this isn't the book for youI on the other hand enjoyed Bentley's honesty And in fact she has a few moments of inspired prose eg If heaven is a taste of eternity in a moment of real time then hell is an eternity of loss in a moment of real time Girlfriend admits herself that she has daddy issues and mommy issues and body issues and control issues blah blah blah and a fair bit of the book harps on herself But then again it IS a memoir

Summary The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir

The Surrender An Erotic MemoirFew women do it and even fewer will admit to it But in Toni Bentley's daring and intimate memoir The Surrender she pulls the sheets back on an erotic experience that's been forbidden since the Bible and celebrates the joy that lies on the other side of convention where. Look believe me I'm as surprised as anyone to find myself giving four stars to an ass fucking memoir written by a professional ballerina Especially with the ghastly soft porn image they've stuck on the e book version But here we are We just have to deal with this now and move on; I've rated The Surrender above The Great Gatsby That is a thing that's happenedTo be honest when I got this I thought I was mainly in it for the comic relief And my god did it deliver This is the funniest book I've read all year – though much of it apparently unintentional Still If you like the idea of encountering deadpan lines likeThe edge of my ass is the sexual event horizonthen this is the book for you I didn't know a whole lot about Toni Bentley before this; I've read a couple of her pieces in the New York Times and I was peripherally aware that she'd written a well received memoir of her time as a dancer at the New York City Ballet Winter Season A Dancer's Journal I wish I could have seen her publisher's face when she announced this one as a follow upHere Bentley writes not primarily as a dancer though her background is a key part of the book but rather as a self declared ‘anal zealot’ The religious connotations of the word are not inapposite Sodomy for Toni – I feel I can call her Toni we became pretty intimately acuainted while I was reading this yesterday – is uite literally a religious experience as she explainsI am an atheist by inheritance I came to know God experientially from being fucked in the ass – over and over and over againOrThe others just made me come With him I came tothe KingdomOrThat's all I need Over and over and over I want to die with him in my assBut Toni think of the autopsy It is first hilarious then jaw dropping and ultimately almost moving to see her desperately struggling to convey in mere earth words what a transcendent experience it is for her to take one up the tradesman's Bentley is well read – at one point she goes into some detail about her favourite authors Nin Miller Lawrence of course; also Simone Weil Woolf Mann and especially reams of Kierkegaard – and she draws on all the literary and philosophical allusions she can muster to describe the importance of meeting the Übermensch who finally took her anal virginity ‘Like Sir Richard Burton entering Mecca’ she begins improbably – and yes she really is going to push through with this metaphor—he is the first Westerner to have infiltrated the tangled jungle of my bowels my uncharted territory the heart of my darknessThe point where I broke down completely on the train came when I hit the following sober declarationAss fucking is the event in which Rainer Maria Rilke's hallowed dictum to “live the uestion” is in fact finally embodiedThis has now moved so far beyond satire that paradoxically you actually end up forced to take it all kind of seriously a remarkable achievement of Bentley's prose for which I give her great credit Anyway you get the point Since that first transorgasmic experience she has considered herselfchanged ever since Forever changed And it began physically with his cock in my assyou know in case you forgot that partNicholson Baker says somewhere – I think it might be in Vox – that anal is one of those acuired tastes that you don't really understand in your twenties but come to appreciate in your thirties But I think this might be a generational thing Bentley is nearly twenty years older than me and I'm not sure for people my age in Europe whether anal congress has uite the same power to become the psychosexual epiphany it was for her although I do know at least one person who had a not dissimilar response to itAnd then for the generation under me of course it's basically third date material nowadays – or so at least I'm led to believe by my moody and cursory attempts to keep up with popular culture Given the kind of porn available everywhere today I can only assume that schoolkids must now have the kind of anatomical know how that used to be reserved for only the most diligent proctologistsIn Bentley's case – to get back to the book – she is so obsessed with hanging on to some memory of these out of body assgasms that she keeps an anal diary to record the details of every encounter she has with her lover And then of course there's The Box Oh lord The Box The Box is a sacred chest like a reliuary in which she has decided to keep all the used condoms – yes really – that have been employed in these assignations Nearly three hundred of them filled with semen and smeared with KY jelly stuck in a box on the window sillGood luck getting that image out of your headThe funny thing is what makes this memoir remarkable and honest is not really the anal sex at all It's her attitude to sexuality and relationships in general When immediately post divorce she has a satisfying fling with her masseur she writesI knew right then that my decision to leave my marriage and break those vows before God was worth it Worth it all for those two hoursIt is very rare to find someone willing to write seriously about how important sex is to them in this way However you feel about her personal preferences for Bentley sex is not some transient pleasure on the side it's central to what she wants out of life and central to who she isI am most alive most observant and most intelligent when sexually engagedThis primacy of the sexual experience is pursued to the detriment of any accompanying relationship ‘I don't trust love’ she says ‘I've heard it declared too often But I trust lust completely’ Even when she finds the man who shows her the light ie this guy who fucks her in the ass with whom she is clearly in love – and it seems mutual – there is no relationship at all outside of meeting for anal sex twice a week Deliberately so they don't have to worry about laundry washing up all the uotidian banalities that can make it difficult to maintain ‘the spark’ – she wants only spark This goes on for three years and they barely even have dinner togetherI preferred sex on an empty stomach and to eat alone with a good bookThis I think is where The Surrender is properly challenging She does not want monogamy – they have a don't ask don't tell policy and Bentley's jealousy is balanced by her attraction to the idea of him as a libidinous free spirit She occasionally sees other people herself whom she can boss around in bed allowing her to remain perfectly purely submissive when she's with Him Power play is indeed the whole point of anal sex for BentleyIf a man can possess a woman sexually—really possess—he won't need to control her ideas her opinions her clothes her friends even her other lovers In my experience of many lovers only he has truly possessed me and so set me free He fucks my ass for hours with a dick an inch too big for the job that is possessionAnd elsewhereHe was the one who treated me like his—in bed All the others treated me like theirs out of bed but in bed I could smell their fearIs it because you showed them The BoxGiven all this refreshingly un doctrinaire sexual politics which in many ways is hugely positive just because she's so unapologetic about it it's a shame that she ends up denigrating all those who have boring old pedestrian vaginal sex The suares It's like she can't get her head around the fact that some people's preferences may be different For those who opt for what she describes rather infelicitously as ‘the well trodden vaginal trail’ she has nothing but scorn Vaginas she scoffsare old news—tired betrayed overused reused abused—and have been overly publicized politicized and redeemed They are no longer naughty no longer the place for defiance rebellion or rebirth Pussies are now too politically correct The ass is where it's at the playground for anarchists iconoclasts artists explorers little boys horny men and women desperate to relinuish even temporarily the power that has been so hard won and so cruelly awarded by the feminist movement‘Vaginas for babies asses for art’ she concludes – another of those slogans that one likes to think Bentley has cross stitched on a scatter cushion somewhereBut it's that attitude along with the gender politics the threesomes the insane true believer schtick the very sexy passages about getting ready to meet a lover the Kierkegaard references that make this book at once hilarious and weirdly inspiring She is not tiptoeing around anything and this is someone who can tiptoe en pointe if she wants to she just really really loves having anal sex and she is trying as hard as she can to explain why It's the kind of thing you want to talk about with your friends when you're drunk but are not comfortable recommending when you're sober Well I'm drunk right now and I can tell you it's no Gatsby but it's actually pretty great

Toni Bentley ß 5 Free read

Free read The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir ä PDF, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ´ Few women do it and even fewer will admit to it But in Toni Bentley's daring and intimate memoir The Surrender she pulls the sheets back on an erotic experience that's been forbidden since the Bible and celebrates the joy that liesRisk is real and rapture resides From Story of O to The Kiss to The Sexual Life of Catherine M readers have been enthralled with sexually subversive memoirs by women But even those erotic classics didn't navigate the psychosexual terrain that Bentley does when she mee. It's strange to see so many disparate reviews of this book but then I guess anal sex is a divisive topic I read this book because it was this month's selection for my erotica book group I almost didn't read it because it's not available in ebook format but I finally caved and bought the dead tree version and I'm glad I did First of all let me say I felt a particular affinity with the author having a background in dance daddy issues and a pre existing love of anal sex and all things explicit So take this review in that light I am okay with the base material If anal sex and explicit prose is a turn off for you run screaming the other way Let me also say that I disagree this book is about anal sexthe anal sex doesn't come until halfway through the book This book is about self exploration and obsession and I think the book's ultimate conclusion is that we never really know the mysteries of ourselves and our sexualities We do all these things to steer control manage our sexuality but in the end it's a force too powerful for us I thought that was the deeper message of the book and the reason I liked it so much I've been involved in obsessive love affairs I found her depiction of her obsession with A man painfully familiar and depressing at times but also healing in a way that I realized I was not alone and that other people at least one lol but I suspect many have had these types of experiencesLike other reviewers there were times I didn't like what she had to say For instance when she delved too deeply into the connection between her childhood and her current sexuality I was kind of ickedboredunconvinced Sometimes her self analyzation got a little overbearing Yes she is certainly a selfishnarcissist type but her story still had a lot to offer regarding sexuality and obsession and the feelings that dredges upHer descriptions of her sexual experiences and her encounters with A man were extremely well written I also liked the way she analyzed her sadism vs her masochism her dominant and submissive sides I felt turned off by the way she ordered around her pussy hound friends but as a member of the BDSM community this all sounded familiar to me this need to be dominant or submissive in various encounters and I'm sure the pussy hounds were getting exactly what they wanted tooI guess I just felt like this is one of the few books that tells it like it is by someone not sugarcoating anything or trying to be liked It was fascinating how she just laid it all on the lineIn the end we're left wondering if she is a lucky or unlucky person a happy or sad person a sadist or a masochist a person wiser than us all or a person who totally doesn't have a clue That's the magic of the book in my opinion She's writing this trying to figure herself out and we're reading it trying to figure HER out but also applying her insights to ourselves too at least I was I think in society with marriage monogamy and traditional sexuality we try to control and shape ourselves to fit society's boxes but deep down we all have these wild urges and sexuality lust and need for many types of love and this impulse cannot be controlled only hidden or given in to She finds some semblance of peace for a while in anal surrender but as the book ends we also know that she's still searching If you have ever ruminated about sexuality outside of traditional and monogamous confines you will probably find something to enjoy or relate to in this book I gave it five stars for engaging me so much mentally although there were parts of it I didn't like