Candy AUTHOR Terry Southern Read ô 104

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Candy AUTHOR Terry SoutheEs her adventures with mystics sexual analysts and everyone she meets when she sets out to experience the world. Candy by Maxwell Canton a psuedonym for Terry Southern and Mason Hoffenberg is a 1958 novel that is apparently fondly remembered by lots of its fans for its breathless descriptions of an excessively naive manipulable and attractive young lady as she careens through one bizarre encounter after another while a rolling cast of late 50s stereotypical characters attempts to seduce her her teacher Professor Mephesto her Uncle Jack and his wife Livia who apparently also swings wildly between cocaine fueled cockwhore and sullen brat the peculiar Dr Krankeit and the desperate Dr Duncan and thereafter by eually creepy physicians doctors police officers cult leaders Communists religious gurus and finally The Buddha himself Very few of these men and sadly never Livia ever get into her pants; those that do tend to have less than succesful moments The book is replete with descriptions of her lush nakedness and cute euphemisms for various body partsThe book is really a succession of farcical set pieces about pretentious teachers liberated women the weird sexology of the late 1950's the rise of strange religious cults although why they take a swipe at the uakers I can't tell the relationships between cops and gay bars at the time There's an almost painfully extended piece about Jews and the way they did or did not integrate well with the larger American community at the time I write painfully because there were a lot of men from my family and their extended communities who bore the scars of those battles One of my relatives in the early 1970s delighted his mother by becoming a law professor A doctor and a lawyer a career which he almost immediately abandoned to write porn Sadly I'm not actually related to him and my parents adamantly refused to tell me his pen nameI found the book a bit disappointing I can see how it was a thrill to read in 1960 I can see how the authors thought it was subversive and funny But one of the things I've learned in the past forty years is that we don't really run to a reductio world when we have one of these bizarre societal adolescent moments; instead we outgrow them establish a new euilibrium and move on It was a smile yeah that was probably amusing once kind of book

Terry Southern Ì 4 Read

Christian a wide eyed luscious all American girl Candy –– a satire of Voltaire’s Candide –– chronicl. Few are the books which deliver on all possible levels and to all possible audiences and Candy reigns supreme as their undisputed ueen There are those who might disagree with me but there are also folk that don't believe dinosaurs existed since they aren't mentioned in the Bible So don't be a hater; get up off your Candyless ass drum up a plan to finagle a copy of this book and jump on the bandwagon of the winning team I have absolutely no doubts that my persuasive intro convinced you that to ignore the greatness of Candy would be the height of folly but before you embark on a mission which risks life and limb tracking down this masterpiece let me give you a little taste of the creamy goodness to come just a little sample which will leave you writhing on the floor begging to digest the story whole I came across this awesome work while kicking it in my old hood at a resale shop I used to love going to and sadly now live about 45 minutes from Paperbacks are usually 50 cents there but on this fateful visit there was a small collection of ‘vintage’ books in a glass case ranging from 2 to 15 bucks Naturally I was intrigued and on first glance I had some explanation as to why they were under lock and key the selection was almost universally smutty in nature Regardless I risked looking like a pervert and asked to take a gander at these treasures and solidified my perverted nature by purchasing a trio of them; I couldn’t help myself all three presented themselves as completely tawdry smut catering solely to purely prurient interests basically the sole reasons I continue to read I’ve got to make a uick sidenote here within this sidenote regarding the store I was purchasing this filth at This particular resale shop allegedly supportsfunds a battered women’s shelter I assume the proceeds go directly towards castrating or shackling the former tormentors of the victims However with the number of studies not that I’ve seen them but often brought up by anti porn pundits in debates that show the sexual objectification of women as a gateway to battery andor rape at the hands of the uncontrollable drooling troglodytes which make up the male sex I am somewhat perplexed as to how they justify selling this stuff Turning a profit or receiving a donation from books which degrade women such as Candy seemingly goes against their principles and thus supports my oft mocked theory this place is actually a front for either a Nicaraguan drug ring or assists in exporting young white girls as slaves to Mozambiue Either that or it goes to show that there is no room for business ethics when a buck can be made in a cutthroat capitalist economy Anyway let me explain to you just how seedy this book was by providing sample text from the front and back covers all I dared to inspect under the watchful eye of the slightly frightened lady accommodating my perusal; the cover alone promised I was holding “the world’s most talked about book” and the back had an excerpt from the story which contained this brilliance ”But oh Daddy when Uncle Jack looked at me that way and when he beseeched me to give him all my true warmth on the hospital floor his need was so great so so –aching of course I gave to him” The fact I enthusiastically purchased this gives you some sickening insight to my soul The fact I also escalated it to the next book in my ueue probably doesn’t put me in any better light A few pages in I thought I knew exactly what was going on in the book that this was just some hastily scribbled smut working the Daddy’s Worst Nightmare scenario; the protagonist Candy Christian is Daddy’s Little Girl and also a mindless burgeoning skank under the tutelage of erudite bohemian hep cat Professor Mephesto I’m sure the average DWN is pretty universal walking in to find your daughter coated in layers of jit while your poker buddies are slapping her face with recently spent and enormous tallywhackers and wiping the residual joy juice from their monstrous schlongs off with your golf club warmers Luckily for those of us reading Candy for a good laugh “Daddy” Christian is a little imaginative than all that After catching Candy preparing to fellate the totally stereotypical and monosyllabic Mexican gardener Emmanuel his thoughts are revealed “It was not as though he couldn’t believe his eyes for it was a scene that had formed a part of many of his most lively and hideous dreams dreams which began with Candy be ravished first by Mephesto then by foreigners then by negroes then gorillas then bulldogs then donkeys horses mules kangaroos elephants rhinos and finally in the grand finale by all of them at once grouped around different parts of her though it was Candy who was the aggressor she who was voraciously ravishing them frantically forcing the bunched and spurting organs into every orifice vagina anus mouth ears nosehe had even dreamed once that she asked him if it were true that there was a small uncovered opening in the pupil of the eye because if it were she would have room there for a praying mantis” Daddy is our type of man; utterly and completely fucking ridiculous However right after his kangaroopraying mantis gangbang recollection he attacks the gardener but his shabby middle class white boy fighting skills are trumped by Emmanuel’s inherently Mexican trowel wielding prowess and he’s lobotomized Don’t worry Daddy’s uickly and uite conveniently replaced by his identical twin brother and his drunken nymphomaniac wife Livia It was at this point in the novel that I made a startling discovery; this book wasn’t just smut this book was actually a parody of Voltaire’s Candide a classic which I happen to be uite fond of I have to admit this actually did shock the shit out of me In retrospect there were a few clues which I overlooked the first being the title page pronouncing the book as “Maxwell Kenton’s Satirical Novel” and a uote from Candide kicking off the first chapter which I honestly just figured was tossed in to give it some element of respectability to prevent it from being banned and lastly the similar sounding names Candy and Candide Very fucking clever Maxwell you wily rapscallion Now able to see my man Professor Mephesto as a modern day Pangloss causing untold damage to a naïve student with his philosophy consisting of balderdash and malarkey I was able to continue reading with renewed pleasure Sure the fact that I didn’t immediately catch that this was a perverse retelling of Candide after the first page was somewhat embarrassing but I caught on by page 30 illustrating how much smarter this book made me in such short time With my Daddy’s Worst Nightmare theory sadly thrown to the wind the book continues as a tongue in cheek parody of Candide except instead of arguing the idea that we live in the ‘best of all possible worlds’ by entangling the narrator in all sorts of life threatening misfortunes here we see the argument against free love being the ‘best of all possible privileges’ by getting Candy worked over in increasingly insane sexual imbroglios These events include anal action with the nose of a Buddha statue incest and of course the depraved zenith of the book Candy’s mind blowing copulation with a bedraggled wino hunchback which climaxes with Candy demanding that he attempt forcing his unwashed and deformed hump into her succulent lamb pit I’m proud to prematurely announce Candy as the winner of my 2009 “Holy Shit” Award certain nothing in the next few months will come close to challenging its twisted magnificence

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Candy AUTHOR Terry Southern Read ô 104 ☆ Banned upon its initial publication the now classic Candy is a romp of a story about the impossibly sweet Candy Christian a wide eyed luscious all American girl Candy –– a satire of Voltaire’s Candide –– chronicles her adventures with mystics sexual analysts and everyone she meets when she sBanned upon its initial publication the now classic Candy is a romp of a story about the impossibly sweet Candy. if the difference in appeal between reading pornography and reading erotica is in the artistry of the language and the sophistication depth of the emotions conveyed then perhaps the difference between reading erotica and reading the erotic literary novel is in the richness of its thematic elements right Candy's depiction of a very horny 50s america is also a depiction of the various obsessions and bugaboos of that time period and in that way it is somewhat interesting thematically somewhatit is a picaresue and fast paced tale and the similarities between the title name and candide are obvious sadly its many attacks on the staid ole 50s come across as tired and cliched there is also as always something deeply problematic in the use of a naive sexpot as a symbol of liberation i mean seriously is this cliche jackoff persona really such a timeless icon that she has to be used so consistently throughout literature i prefer her where she belongs amidst the entirely unrealistic and two dimensional caricatures of porn there are surely interesting personifications of empowerment particularly female empowerment to be drawn upon and the various sexy scenarios were actually not very hot at allstill the novel is not without its worth as a relic of its time